| Prove it 2 me LESBO! haha |
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| 09:49am 08/02/2004 |
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mood:  scared music: Missy Elliot-Cop that shit
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crazy ass weekend. i told myself i wouldnt do thiss shit anymore. and here i am doing it.. worse this time.idk why i do this shit 2 myself. i really dont. i dont understand nething about myself nemore.. i really and starting to turn in2 a fuk up. i start to try soo hard.. but then it just doesnt fuking work. i never thought i would fuking end up like this.. honestly.
So now i gotta fukin worry for like 2 weeks.. and im fukin scared. how the fuk could that place be closed.. i needed them. wtf and i shouldnt have 2 go ther in the first place. it was both of our faults that it even happend.. but omg im freaking out. and i cant even talk 2 him. cuz he doesnt even care. i dont know what 2 do. i honestly dont. i feel like it wsa a fukin mistake 2 get involved with him. but i already did it so why fukin regret it now. but hes gotta fukin do that love shit.. sreiously if u ffuking dont then dont fukin say it. ya know? it just confuses shit. i jsut wasnt fukin ready for this shit.. and i dont know what 2 do. i have nobody to tlak 2.. cept for like dami jenny and robin. thank god for them. honestly.. idk wut the fuk id be doing without them. i missed them.. they were my girls sinc ei was like fukin 5 years old.but all i know is that i gotta fukin pull my life 2gether b4 i completly fuk up everything.... |
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| i thought the lil guy was growing mold... haha |
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| 09:31pm 27/01/2004 |
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mood:  loved music: Britney Spears-Im a slave for you
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Its SNOWING! haha finally. we better not have school 2morro. or im gonna die lol. but me and dami can have an emergency study session! hehe so 2day i has my us history test. it was really really hard. it was liek challening. HOpefully i did good tho.. we'll see wut happens tho. So after the test i chilled with bob dami and bobby for a while. Then i came home and just wathced tv and bob came over=) then we just like fukin went everywhere 2gether lol. it was soo funny cuz we spent like the whole freakin day 2gether. and it was just soo fun. he really amuses me. And then he came 2 my house like later 2nite and i fell asleep on him. How cute is that? i really really like that kid.. and i sware it drives me crazy. cuz im scared to like sum1 so much again. but im really tryin 2 get past that whole shit cuz hes really so great.. and i have such an awesome time with him. so why not? right??
So my bday is FRIDAY! im so excited. actually not really lol but it should be okay i suppose. i have no plans or nething.. so i guess we'll just see wut happens=) and im going away this weekend so who knows. i found out that my weekend is gonna bne like seriously 16 hours of dancing. its gonna be awesome. but i may die lol Eghh well im gonna go watch romeo and juliet!! |
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| THE TREES LOUNGE BABY! |
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| 02:39pm 25/01/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: Ben Folds-The Luckiest
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Whoa.. crazy night. im so confused. and torn, and happy, and different, and sad and omg idk lol. So yesterday was fun.. i had work and then i actaully studied. then me and bob went to the gig games 2gether. then after that we went to sabrinas with like 15 ppl cuz it got out of hand . haha it was just crazy. and i was just confused lol but i had a good time. aghh it was just like idk.. i cant even talk about it
i gotta study for midterms like crazy. or im gonna fail lol. eghh ohh well. ill study tho.. cuz i dont wanna be a little failure anymore lol. I thnk im gonan go over to jennys and study.. not that thats gonna help me since i probly wont study. but i gotta fukin clear my head. Im like confused and idk why
SO im gonna go get dressed.. and try and fukin think straight. i really need sum1 to tlak 2. but idk who i should talk 2. like i dont even know what the fuk im gonna say cuz im that fukin confused. wtf |
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| Ive cried, Ive laughed, Ive screamed, Ive jumped, Ive struggled, Ive rejoiced...I'VE LIVED |
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| 06:45pm 21/01/2004 |
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mood:  groggy music: Hillary Duff- Come Clean
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Wahoo! no dance or work today.. its soo great. i loved it. So neways.. im just chillen at home for now. i hope i get to go out with dami later.. eventho i really should do all of my hw. I always get it done.. eventho its not like how i used too! haha Anyways, I'm almost 17.. SCary!! im growing up soo fast. and ive changed so much. IT really freaks me out. But i thnk its all just part of getting older. ya know? i mean i experienced a lot of things at 16 that i never have before.. things i thought id never do.. and some things maybe i regret.. but i made it through it just the same. I lost friends, i made friends. But its still my life.. and im not like dying or nething lol. Overall i thnk im doing okay.. i do stupid shit sumtimes.. but im just living and sometimes that comes with pitfalls and mistakes. im tired of ppl pretending that ther life is sOO damn perfect.. then it mustnt be that great. Who am i to know tho? i have really have no right to pass any judgement on any1 elses life.. that and the fact taht i really dont care lol. I just wanna be myself and be happy.. thats my new thing lol
So yesterday Bob came over.. it was really fun. haha i have such a good time wen im with him.. its just fun. and its such simple fun.. thers no bullshit involved with him, or at least not yet. which is ALWays awesome. but who knows what the future holds, hopefully nothing stupid. i dont really know where i want things to go with him. but all i knwo is that im really happy with what we have together now. i dont thnk ive liked ne1 as much as him.. he grows on me more more all the time. aghh thats like the opposite of what i wanted. LIke i didnt want 2 fall for ne1 else.. idk why. I just didnt want to.. but now i am and i cant stop it. so i shold just accept it lol
Homelife is pretty okay 2.. i miss my brother tho. and my parents still piss me off even when they dont do anything. lol but eghh . its really awesome having dami right up the street, cuz i can always like escape with her lol. I really really have to study hard this weekend. My plan is to party it up friday night cuz i wouldnt study then anyways. then go to work saturday.. and then study that afternoon and maybe at night ill jsut chill or study a little more. cuz it would be nice if i did good lol. But i guess we'll ssee wen i take the damn tests. Im SOO excited for my dance trip.. im a little sad cuz i wont be home next weekend.. but hey its a weekend of doing what i absolutely love. SO i cant paticullarly complain. Well i should go do my HW! |
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| SNOW DAY!! |
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| 12:00pm 15/01/2004 |
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mood: chipper music: Yellowcard
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Awahoo! snow day 2day.. so awesome cuz i have mad hw i didnt do ! lol im actually gonna do it 2day tho.. after i hang out with dami tho! haha we're gonna have fun.. i really wanna go sleighriding.. but idk if we can cuz the snow sux! so who knows what we'll end up doing!
So ive been doing pretty good. ive been feeling ALOt better. I realized that thngs are NEVER as bad as they seem. and u just gotta get through them. and u just got 2 surround urself with positive.. and really importantly.. accpeting people. So school is just school.. but i'm doing better. im gonna really try. so that when i get out of this town i have a great future waiting for me or at least get in 2 a good school! hehe evntho idk what i wanna be!
Dance and work are going good 2. dance is awesome.. cept for sumtimes i hate that im ther ALL the time.. but its my passion so i try not 2 complain. and all the people ther are soo awesome.. its great thati have an outlet like that. And i cant wait till we go away to NJ! its gonna be SOO fun! and all my work buddies are awesome 2.. i love that im meeting new people and making new friends. Especially scott! im really depressed that hes leaving me=(
SO everythin is goin good with Bob 2. we see eachtoher almost everyday.. adn we spend alot of time together. which is completely awesome. But im still just the same scared little girl i was wen i started going out with brandon lol but hopefully now ive learned sum stuff and wont be so stupid. Im just scared to fall hard... fast. ya know? but we'll see what happens. im just enjoying the time we are spending togtether.. regardless of what happens in the future.
well i shold go and get ready so i can enjoy my SNOW DAY! |
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| HMM.. |
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| 07:04pm 12/01/2004 |
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mood:  giddy music: Britney Spears-BOom Boom
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2day was a bad day. i was all depresssed wen i got home from school. ITs cuz "friends" are mad gay. maybe its just me.. but idk. imjust tired of the bullshit so i decided i just wont deal with it nemore. cuz thats really all it is.. bullshit. Im just gonna do what i want.. and do what i want for my life. and just not worry about fukin stupid shit. cuz in a year and a half ill be out of heree!!
so i was in a horrible mood.. but theni talked 2 my mom and i felt better. and i talked 2 dami too. that always helps.i really love that girl. we have a lot of fun wen we are 2gether. its awesome haveing a friend like that again. Shes just so fun.. robin is awesome too. but i dont see her much.
Soi also feel better bc bob is comin over now. he always makes me feel better. even when i act like a complete idiot. he understands. and i thk thats so awesome. for sum reason im very giddy right now lol its kinda bad. well im gonna go and calm down! tata |
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| YEAHHH!! |
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| 04:43pm 07/01/2004 |
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mood:  bouncy music: Michelle Branch
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today was a really good day. i was soo happy. i just had 2 tell larry lol i love that kid soo much, he always makes me feel so much better. So neways yesterday was a hell day and i got really depressed.. but theni went 2 dance and had an awesome time. but then i found out that my trip mite get fuked up and i got pissed again. but it will hopefully work out. so i went 2 school 2day like knowing that i was gonna be ina good mood.. cuz i cant do ne more of this no fun shit lol so then i came home early and i slept which was awesome. then i hung out witih my brother and his girlfriend.. that was really fun. i like her alot.then bob came over for a little bit... but then his mom made him leave. cuz he got sick(not from me!! lol) i was a little sad that he had 2 leave. but like he always calms me down. if i get all upset or like pissed off he just calms me down alot. and i love that about him.so today was just a good day.. and at dance the other night i realized that i wanna do thatas part of my career. and im excited that i decided that.. i just have to decide what area its gonna be in lol but i can decide that another day. so 2day was my day off.. how awesoem! lol havent had one of those in forevvver.. soo im gonna go and do my hw like a good girl=) |
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| Its 2004!! |
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| 12:30pm 02/01/2004 |
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mood: happy music: When Doves Cry
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heyy kiddies.. its a new year! how crazy is that?? in a year we're graduating.. omg i dont wanna thnk about it. so new years was fun.. cept for my no drinkin shit lol. but its all good cuz i got my filled both nights b4 that.. i kinda feel like if i did drink that i woulda gotten really sick! so neways it was pretty fun. Denise with her hot side pony tail!
So anyways my break is almost over. im quite upset.. its been so fun! but eghh i guess we must go back 2 school summtime. so i had a really good time las nite. Although i really dont know wut the hell is going on with us.. which is okay 2. Idk i just feel like idk. we're just having fun.. which is fine.
SO im goin 2 the palisades liek soon.. i invited robin but shes gay and has a DBQ to do! dam u robo! i called jen 2 but she like idk where she is lol. and dami has her sisters bday party.. so it looks like its just me and my mum. which should b fun.. i wanna buy like 900 thngs lol. im gonna go crazy ithnk. but thats always fun.
and.... to be honest i kinda miss my girls. idk tho.. they like came in2 hallmark and shit.. i guess they needed a card lol. but it made me feel weird.. like i could feel like anger towards me . and of course that makes me upset. i understand why like amanda was mad.. and i tried 2 tell her and then i got this email back.. and i guess thngs are not so easily fixed. and from what i hear from like every1 michelle doesnt like me. which is fine.. but idk . its just weird 2 me. and im not gonna say its all my fault or all theres.. idk i just hate this shit. im tryin SOO hard this time to just go witht he flow and like not care... but sumtimes it gets hard. but ive done it b4.. so who knows.
Sooo off 2 do my shopping=)
Katie- |
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| ALAPAGOS!! |
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| 01:22pm 30/12/2003 |
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mood: amused music: Jimmy Eat World- The middle
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haha its my firstt entry in my NEW journal! lol i love it. so neways.. this break has been a little crazy lol but im having a lot of fun i must say!! haha ive been working and chillin wiht dami and robin alot. its been soo fun.. las nite was probly like the craziest shit ever! lol im such a light weight its horrible.. right dame? lol So neways i met sum new ppl and it was pretty fun.. so at like 330 me and robin came home and left dami with the boys.. IMSORRY dami! lol haha me and robin were being soo dumb it was hysterial! we couldnt sleep like all nite .. it was great. So yesterday we drove up 2 cracker barrel.. it was really fun! we almost died liek 4 times lol. haha it was fun tho.. lots of memories!
SO idk wut im doing 2day.. but hopefully sumwhere fun. and then 2nite whoo knows wuts goin on cuz i dont have work again=)So yesterday cieran was being a dick 2 me but watever.. then he called 2day and apoligized. that was nice.
Im still really tired from last night.. but oh well. I miss jen Omara! i havent talked 2 her in like a day.. i love that girl. idk we just are like idk lol. So its weird i havent been hangin out with like all my normal friends.. idk i guess they dont like me nemore. but idk .. who knows? but its all good i suppose.
Well ishould go and get showerd and wutnot.. ill write later=) |
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littlebackpack's journal